Can forgiveness repair communities? This was the theme for the showing of the award-winning documentary film Beyond Forgiving as part of The Forgiveness Project's 10th anniversary celebrations on 17 March 2017.
It was an intense and intimate gathering with over 50 people in attendance at the St Ethelburga's Centre for Reconciliation and Peace. It was the first in a series of conversations on forgiveness.
Picture a room packed with people of varied ages, ethnicity and very different life experiences. Think of what might be going through their minds as they watch two people narrate their journey towards reconciliation across cultural and religious divides, eventually shattering the walls of blame. A child was killed; people were subjugated in their own home and then along comes forgiveness.
What might go through your mind if you were seated in that hall?
Beyond Forgiving touches the heart in different ways for different people. It challenges the intellect, and in many cases, raises questions about the practicability of forgiveness as an entire concept.
A polemic discourse (expectedly) followed the screening with the Director Imad Karam, Executive Producer Howard Grace and Sue Hanisch, a survivor of the IRA bombing at London’s Victoria Station in 1991. Marina Cantacuzino, Founder of The Forgiveness Project, chaired the discussion and fielded questions from the audience that were both gobsmacked and vociferous.
Talking Forgiveness: easier preached than practiced?
Beyond Forgiving is not a presentation of utopia on a platter of idealism. Members of the panel were clear on the course of the documentary, the primary idea being to create platforms of expression and dialogue by presenting forgiveness as a tool for change at all levels of relationships. It is not a one-way system explained Imad Karam, the Director of the film.
The true act of forgiveness requires a mutual apology, inward looking rather than defensiveness - Imad Karam
The film, he says, does not tell people how to right the wrongs in their lives or explicitly answer the question as to whether forgiveness can repair communities, but presents forgiveness as a tool for positive change, a bridge builder.
Forgiveness: A Tool for Social Change
The problem with this, as a member of the audience demanded to know, is that even if individuals can be healed, how can politics be healed in a world with increasingly fragmented and fractured structures?
For one with a firsthand experience in conflict, Palestinian-born Karam emphasises his message of hope in the possibility of changing one person at a time, one group at a time and the resulting ripple effect on the wider fabric of society. A typical Gandhi ideology of ‘be the change you want to see in the world’.
A Rwandan citizen would know. There was one present at the gathering and agreed that forgiveness is tough and might in some cases set one against his/her kin but, the end result, the peace that ensues and mended relationships is worth the price.
Here Comes the Choice…
Sue Hanisch recounted her dark days to the audience. Those trying moments where the anger, pain and bitterness consumes you and losing a leg to the 1991 IRA bombing in London Victoria. How does one forgive that? “The choice and the need to forgive is an ongoing internal management process” she says. It is certainly not a walk in the park but “we are all capable of all things and must make the conscious decision to let go for our own sake”.
Forgiveness is also about restoring relationships in our communities, Executive Director, Howard Grace added. It is about change from within and the choice to allow that change happen, bearing in mind the implications of such a positive process on one’s self and the wider society.
So, can forgiveness repair communities? There is no straight forward answer to this daring question. For some, yes would mean tolerance of atrocities; a sign of weakness and opening up room for further exploitation. Another might think otherwise.
Forgiveness might be worth a shot not because it is the easiest thing in the world but it can redeem the soul. Then of course some might further debate the idea of forgiving and not forgetting. It gets more nuanced than the linear proposal hence the motivation for the name of the film Karam says. It is about what happens Beyond Forgiving; that extra mile.
The conversation continues. It gets more intense with the Beyond Forgiving UK tour round the corner, featuring the protagonists in person. That is the idea… dialogue, debates, questions and attempts at answers. Let the sparks fly. Within the fireworks of emotion, expression and storytelling healing may rise. From one, to the other, to the rest of the world. Not in such a merry Utopian order. But then, we can always try… Yes, effort. That is the whole idea.
Doris Okenwa
English