Amina Khalid saw conflict as a child in Somalia, and then experienced discrimination as a refugee in Britain. Now working with IofC’s ‘Agenda for Reconciliation’ and other initiatives, she gave this background talk on her life as part of a panel at the opening of an IofC conference in Liverpool, November 2009.
I was born and brought up in Somalia, in Mogadishu. My family and I belong to the Benadir clan which is an ethnic minority group in the southern coast of Somalia. When civil war broke out in Somalia in early 1991, the Benadir clan became one of the biggest victims of the war; hundreds of thousands of people were savagely killed, women were raped and people’s homes were looted. My family personally encountered these atrocities: my uncle was shot dead by his neighbour whilst trying to protect his family; my 13 year old distant cousin was kidnapped and raped by a member of the warring clans. Amidst the chaos of the war, millions of people were forced to flee their homes in search of safe havens abroad.
My family left Somalia in early 1992 and ended up as refugees in London. At the age of 13 I was sent to secondary school without being able to speak any English. From my early days at school I was subjected to constant bullying, racial harassment and, at times, physical violence from students partly because of wearing the headscarf. I subsequently went to four different schools before I could settle.
On many occasions I felt like taking revenge on those who harmed me. However, I had to remind myself of the terrible conflict my family had fled from, and I did not want to bring or be part of a conflict in a country where I now call home. My faith also guided me against acting upon any of my negative thoughts. Islam does not permit violence or revenge; it is said that ‘Revenge is like a poison that flows through a deceased soul.’ Had I taken revenge on those who harmed me, I would never have found peace and happiness in my heart.
For many years I had very negative views of English people and distrusted them very much because of my initial negative experience. But as a Muslim I have always been taught by my parents not to harbour negative feelings, and that forgiveness is the first step to healing the wounds and building trust. When I was first introduced to IofC by my father I was somewhat skeptical about the work of the organization. I found its aims to be almost too good to be true. However, I was quickly struck by the honesty and openness of the IofC members’ experiences and the way in which they transformed their lives by not only forgiving those who wronged them but actually working with them too. IofC principles have helped to me to deal with the bullying, racism, and physical violence which I have experienced at school.
Trust-building, reconciliation, and forgiveness is now a fundamental element that plays a critical role in my professional life: I am currently working with Initiatives of Change as a Youth Outreach worker on a number of initiatives. In my role I’ve played a leading part in coordinating the Learning to be Peacemakers conference in Caux, August 2009. I participate in the IofC-UK schools programme and have visited many schools in Liverpool, Scotland, and Newbury. I also work extensively with young Somalis, sharing my experience with them and motivating them to raise their expectations, better their lives and increase their opportunities.
I am also an active member of Agenda for Reconciliation and the ‘Somali Initiative for Dialogue and Democracy’. Currently, I am involved in an intergenerational dialogue project, which aims to create understanding among young and older people in the Somali communities of Brent, Harrow and Islington.
In this current climate of fear, trust building is now more important than it has ever been before. In such times of difficulties we must learn to put our dependency and trust on each other.
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