What is really going on when we finally take possession of the car of our dreams and a month later the excitement has worn off and we are back to square one? Or what about when we buy new clothes, even though we don't need them at that moment - what internal process is unleashed which makes us forget more pressing problems that are difficult to resolve? And the act of dating many different people at the same time, or one after the other, masks a search for what exactly?
These questions are very difficult to answer, especially because each person who finds themselves in these situations has their very own personal story, based on very different past experiences. Any conclusion is likely to be superficial. Nevertheless, a good proportion of the world's population is trying to buy happiness that can only be achieved through human values and spirituality. The saddest part is that they don't even know the price they are paying.
The Polish sociologist Zigmunt Bauman talks in various publications in terms of 'mortgaging the future'. Consumer policies created from the 50's onwards led to growing numbers of offers of consumption-based happiness and promises of 'enjoy now, pay later'. This meant that families thrived, buying durable consumer goods, but at the expense of a financial crisis caused by huge worldwide debt. The result is rebellion and protests - not for political motives, but out of frustration at being unable to buy. Shops and malls have been targets of violence, invasions and bombs, especially in developed countries where the unemployed youth have not even been able to maintain their parents' standard of living. This growing unemployment without a clear solution brings fear and anxiety resulting in protests all over the world.
Where do we abandon basic human values in favour of consumer goods? Wherever having becomes more important than being. This is not the result of a past choice that someone made, forcing us down a path imposed by society. In reality the choice is made by each person on a daily basis. Each day we can decide not to buy things that we definitely don't need. Each day we can decide not to pay attention to what is really unnecessary. We can open up time and space for what and who really needs it. We can choose to use the marvels of today's technology to pass on love, affection, care rather than providing ourselves with useless things. This choice is personal and not transferable.
The concept of consumption is passed from generation to generation and we are already 'products' of this social expectation. For many of us, the focus and rewards of education were focused on consumption. Expensive gifts were, and will be, given by absent parents to compensate for their lack of direct contact and quality time. Instead of giving their time to the essentials, they put work first in order to achieve their material dreams and financial stability. This has snowballed and results in a frustrated society which does not manage to evolve financially, let alone spiritually.
How can we deal with this reality that confronts us? What decisions do we need to take today? Will we procrastinate again? Will we change our standards of thinking and acting? It isn't an easy decision or a smooth change to make. Knowing how to deny oneself what 'seems' good, flying in the face of what society dictates, could cost us exclusion from society. In the end, who is going to cut themselves off from having the latest i-pad, the branded trainers, the new car and a social profile on the internet (this especially to be able to show the good social status we have reached)? But what if we looked around us and saw that the essence of life was, is and will be, simpler than all the clutter that we have accumulated and all the commitments we have imposed on ourselves? Life demands courage if we are to make a radical change in our values, especially for the most materialist among us. Building family, having children, caring for parents. Even though everything suggests that a good present might make up for your absence, it leads to a distance between you and your loved ones.
Love them, above all, with your spirit. This will make an enormous difference in your relationship along this journey of life.
In summary, to be able to stick to that which is spiritual means choosing that which is everlasting, and durable. It's a choice which in itself gives us certainty of being on the right track and ever more linked to a greater force which is inexplicably kind and generous and ready to offer us all we really need: true love, brotherly, unconditional and complete. This love exists and satisfies more than any material gifts and is attainable not just thanks to this greater force but between people too. It is enough to choose this in order to begin to feel the effects of a life that fulfils the meaning of existence.
Alline Serpa lives in Rio de Janeiro, where she works as an architect. She's been working with IofC since 1998, now translating and managing the Portuguese section of IofC's global website, and also coordinating, with others, meetings and programs. She has serving on the Board of IofC-Brazil.
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